Some of you are familiar with the Yin and Yang.
“A starting definition: Yin / Yang : Two halves that together complete wholeness. Yin and yang are also the starting point for change. When something is whole, by definition it is unchanging and complete. So when you split something into two halves – yin / yang, it upsets the equilibrium of wholeness. Both halves chasing after each other as they seek a new balance with each other.
The word Yin comes out to mean “shady side” and Yang “sunny side”.
Don’t worry, I haven’t taken up Taoism or decided to study ancient Chinese religions. I was actually reading back over some of my cousin Renee’s blog,
https://chemosabesite.wordpress.com, and this was the start of her post almost exactly 2 years ago when she described the pros and cons of having MDS (Myelodysplastic syndrome). With her quick wit and ever sunny outlook on life, Renee tried to see the positive to every challenge and heartbreak.
I’ve adapted her format from that blog to describe 2017. (I’m still working on adapting her positive attitude):
Bad: At the end of the year Renee took a turn and was requiring transfusions on a regular basis to keep here white count up. Because of some insurance changes, and other mitigating factors, she could no longer be treated at U of M and did not receive the bone marrow transplant that was the cure for her MDS. Cleveland Clinic picked up the ball but they were fighting an uphill battle. She would hang on several more months, with several stays in the local hospital as well as in Cleveland, then was transferred to Hospice in Perrysburg for her final days. She died on Mothers Day surrounded by her family and friends.
Good: Our mothers were only 11 months apart and when I was growing up they lived down the street from us, so we had always been close in proximity. Then we all married and had our own families with busy lives. It was easier, and less crowded, not to spend holidays together as an extended family. But that changed 2 years ago right before she found out she was sick. And through her illness it continued to evolve. First to support her, but then to come along side my aunt and her kids. Now we try to get together for a big family dinner once a month and Sarah and I text and talk often. It is the one bright spot in this incredible loss.
Bad: In April, after a day spent cleaning Renee’s house before she returned from an extended stay at Cleveland Clinic, Sam had his accident at work. (See previous blog post for details.) He spent a total of 2 weeks in the hospital between his initial injury and a skin graft. The months following the accident, along with some past troubles he had to deal with, have been very challenging.
Good: Accidents and challenges have a way of putting life into perspective. Our relationship with Sam had been improving, but there is nothing like a grease explosion to bring you closer together. He now has a new job and is living with us along with his dog, Duke. (That may belong on the con list)
Bad: On December 6th Jeff’s mom passed away. This was not a surprise. She had battled illnesses for 28 years and been close to death many times, defying all odds. I won’t detail all her challenges because there is not enough room and it reads like a medical journal. Even though it was expected and we are glad she is no longer suffering, it still doesn’t take away the sadness of losing a parent. The first for either of us as well as the first grandparent for our kids.
Good: All we kept hearing from those that attended her funeral was how she faced all of life’s challenges with a smile on her face and didn’t complain about what life had handed her. Yang, the sunny side.
I know this is a different blog post for me with a lot of dumping. I don’t have any clever antidotes about making milkshakes out of life’s lemons or how cleaning out your junk drawer leads to a happier marriage. (And once again I’m not a believer in Taoism or Chinese symbols.) To be honest, I’m still trying to get a handle on this rollercoaster of a year. Both the good and the bad.
Life is always going to be full of highs and lows, ups and downs, good and bad, yin and yangs. Maybe not as extreme as we have experienced this year, but it could be. We are not promised that life will be easy. But I know God has a plan for all of this and His plan is perfect.
In the midst of all these ups and down, highs and lows, there was every day life. Going to work, teaching at BSF, school for Maddie who is in her final year of nursing school. Watching Jeff get some amazing opportunities in the studio mixing for some fabulous artist. In spite of not being in the Christmas mood we got to spend it at home with the kids, who actually gave me a yin/yang bracelet to remind me of Renee. Finally, we rang in the New Year with great friends, who knew we needed one last night in 2017 full of laughs, love and fireworks.
